It was back in 2011 when I first thought I had learned to trust God. After all, He miraculously provided for me to go to summer camp (which, by the way, I only started planning to go to one week before the camp began). How could I ever doubt a God like that?
But two years later I was questioning His ability to provide for me to make a missionary trip to the Philippines (which, again, I was late in committing to). After that, I thought I had really learned to trust God. After all, He miraculously provided for me to go on an overseas mission trip. How could I ever doubt a God like that?
Oddly enough, two years later I was questioning His ability to properly care for my beloved mother as I again traveled overseas. This step felt like the most trust I could ever put in a Being. For as long as I can remember she’s been my reason for living, my highest love, my inspiration. It was a struggle, but I finally surrendered to God and have since had peace even in the midst of the storm that is my mother’s health. After that, I thought I had *really* learned to trust God. After all, He miraculously provides life to each one of us every day. How could I ever doubt a God like that?
And then my life started getting really confusing.
My plans were getting shaken out from
under me and I was so distraught. The main question of the moment was whether or not to stay in school (complicated situation, but that was my “movement” point).
The situation had started to have a major effect on my belief in my heretofore life motto, which basically states: “Impossible is just a word for people who are focused on ‘Im’ going to do this. If I don’t rely on myself (I’m), everything is simply possible.” I started using and fully believing the word, “can’t,” which, you might recall, I despise.
In a state of not caring much about even life itself, I sought advice from a godly mentor/friend of mine and decided to press forward toward my degree.
So much seemed easier after that. I was no longer confused and was better able to focus on what needed to be done for my schooling. Because of my friend, I had again seen the importance of my schooling and again I had a plan–this time one that would accommodate the constantly changing environment that I live in. I was staying in school. No matter what. That was that.
Today I learned that I am unable to complete required TB testing before the due date. In my class, that is grounds for immediate failure of the course. Again, I’m back to questioning whether or not I’ll be finishing this quarter.
Can I trust God with this? Is this problem different or harder in such a way that Almighty God can’t figure it out? No way.
And so I think back on how He’s been faithful to me in the past. I’ve attended that summer camp for 4 years; I’ve participated in foreign missions twice; I have peace to this day regarding my mother’s health; and someday I’ll tell the story of how He’s been faithful to me regarding EMT.
Friend, no matter what your current circumstances, no matter what matter weighs heavy on your mind, we serve a God who is not defined by what “I’m” capable of. We serve a God who only sees possibilities, who ever lives and loves to give you the best unimaginable gifts. I’m trusting Him. Join me?
P.S. This was written last night. This morning I got an email that my instructor will be able to accommodate the situation and extend the due date for my testing!